Angry. Scared. Disbelief. These are just a few of the rollercoaster of emotions I have been living with over the past six months. Like many others, I have been shuttered in my home since mid-March watching way too much news, stress eating, and confused about what is happening in the world. As if the fact that we are in the middle of a pandemic is not enough, which honestly still feels a little apocalyptic to me, there is also social unrest, division, and a very disappointing political climate. The whole thing is just exhausting. However, our current state has also made me take stock of myself, my friends, family, colleagues, and everything that makes me…well, me. During this time, I have thought a lot about our “new normal,” how it has affected me and what I have learned about myself and the world in which we live.
- Being an introvert saved my bacon.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to socialize and enjoy hanging out with friends; but I am a loner by nature, a classic Pisces. I do my best thinking alone, and it gives me time to clear my head. So, when the pandemic hit, being alone did not feel at all isolating to me. I was used to it. And it was that ability to thrive alone, that has allowed me to succeed during quarantine.
When we look back on this time, we will remember where we were when we realized what was happening. That many businesses would close; and that we would be working from home and avoiding people on the street. But who knew it would also mean that groups would stop meeting in person; and that our lives would be turned upside down and moved onto virtual platforms. And finally, that a small piece of fabric and elastic could create such anger, politicization, and launch a world-wide debate. I certainly did not; but I have watched it all from my living room couch, while stress eating too many bowls of ice cream. However, I am grateful for the time I’ve spent in quarantine, because it has taught me that it is ok to be still – this is our introvert revolution. Introverts unite! - A much-needed light has been shined on racial injustice.
There is so much to unpack here. First, I have been shocked at how shocked people seem to be about the current social unrest. I’ve had so many emotions on this topic, but a number of times have been reduced to emotional rubble. The senseless killing of unarmed black men, an abuse of power during peaceful protests and witnessing our country set back decades in race relations and injustice. As an African American woman, I have always fought to gain education, skills and knowledge to compete in the job market – but never have I ever felt that I may also have to fight for my personal safety. This season of unrest has caused me to take a more personal in depth look at inequalities and my own life as it relates to race and gender.Aside from the anxiety, depression, and stress from COVID-19, it has opened hearts, minds and wallets to a pandemic that already existed. This pandemic has taught me that even in the face of such sadness and discourse, there is still great opportunity for peace, tranquility, and change. I am relishing the thought of a post pandemic world. Ahhh, utopia! - First responders are rock stars and should not be taken for granted.
The truth is nothing in life should be taken for granted. Especially, not the individuals that are helping to save countless lives. The fact that first responders should be celebrated is nothing new to me. This includes all healthcare heroes, 1st responders and EMTs. They continued to show up for their patients, while facing their own fears for themselves and their families. I saw them show up for me, my mother, and my family 11 years ago. I saw how nurses care for their patients and their families. And I will be forever grateful for their care and compassion. From this moment, I have learned that there are people willing to risk it all to save others. And I am comforted by the fact that these health heroes exist. Thank you!
After learning these lessons, I also figured out a few other things. First, traveling is part of my DNA. I really miss it; and I cannot wait to get back to it. Second, I spent way too much money on take out; and now that I am cooking at home, I realize how much I dislike doing the dishes. Thank goodness for my dishwasher! And, finally, I know that this year has been a master class in resiliency for me and that things will get better. However, I am really looking forward to dropping 2020 like a bad habit and ushering in 2021. Bring it on!